Tough Love For Your Stupid Family/Friends

ME: I think half the people who do stupid stuff, you know, like staying with someone who treats them like shit, would not stay with that someone if their friends and family told them the cold hard truth...that everyone is talking about them behind their backs about how stupid they are for staying with someone who treats them like shit.

YOU: ha

ME: Seriously. Everyone wants to be lied to nowadays. Or their friends and family don't want to "hurt" them, but someone needs to be the "bad guy" and give them a wakeup call!

YOU: I'm hungry...that oatmeal didn't seem to stick w/ me as long today

Bigger, Better, Brighter

I am so very happy you posted that today. It's not something that's been plaguing me or anything. It wasn't something I ever even wondered. Now that you said it, though, it kind of makes a world of difference to me. I kind of like to have concrete evidence assuring me that your love for me is real and not "rebound" love, or, as you said "the newest, greatest thing". And it's made me realize something else about myself. I feel exactly the same way about you!

I tried to explain the feeling to myself. For me, when I look at you, it's like looking at a baby that I just want to grab up and squeeze and kiss, and hug, because they are just so darn gorgeous. But, I know full well that's not a common feeling for you. So, maybe if I change the baby to a puppy you'd get the picture?  =)

But it's even more than that when you really love someone. I love you so much that, yes, I just want to climb all over you and hug you and squeeze you and kiss you and stare at you and tell you how gorgeous you are. I also want to make you comfortable. I want to make you happy. I want to take care of you, and also encourage you and support your every endeavor.

The biggest thing for me, though? The thing that tells me that I really do love you is the fact that I can actually say those three words to you without a second thought. I Love You. That was always hard for me in the past. I very rarely said it at all and when I did, I probably left out the "I" and just said "love you", which might seem small, but I think means so much.

With you, I want to write it on the sky! In permanent marker!

I LOVE YOU!

p.s. has it been a year yet?

Excuse Him, Her, Yourself

Excuses. Why the heck do people always make excuses? I am so sick of it!

You know what an excuse is? It's freaking DENIAL! Denial of the reality that is before you. Denial of the lie that you are living. Denial that you are unhappy. Denial that something is not quite right. Denying the real reasons for doing or not doing something.

People making excuses for their behavior or their husband's, wife's, or child's behavior is more denial. They make excuses so that they don't have to do anything about it.They want to ignore it and not deal with it.

We all know the one where the wife makes excuses for her husband's neglectful behavior. "He's really a good man. I have to be thankful  because at least he doesn't beat me or the kids, and he's not a drug addict or alcoholic." What? So, it's okay if he "works late" all the time, ignores you when he is home, talks down to you, criticizes you, just comes home long enough to sh*t, shower and shave? Yeah, you are so right. That "not beating and not abusing drugs and alcohol" is a great excuse for putting up with his other crap behavior. 

If you are in a marriage and your husband says he's not sure he wants to be married to you or not sure if he wants to work on your marriage, don't make excuses for him! Don't tell me he's just going through something! The dude is obviously cheating on you! It's that simple! Either that or he's in the closet. And if he's in the closet, he's also probably cheating on you, just not with someone who shares with you similar physical attributes.  I've seen and heard this scenario so many times, it's become a joke. I can tell you step by step the process you will go through before you either give in to the truth and decide to move on, or give up and carry on with the charade and be miserable for the rest of your life.

If you have any self respect. If you love your self just the tiniest bit, you will come to your senses and move on. You WILL recover and you will be triumphant. You've got enough problems just being a citizen on this planet. You don't have to make it even worse for yourself. 

One basic truth to always remember: If you find yourself making excuses for him, her, or yourself, stop what you doing and regroup because something is most definitely rotten in the state of Denmark. 

Not Enough

It's come to my attention that it is not enough to be truthful. It's not a good thing to be honest. You get no where by being up front. Everyone wants you to lie to them. Everyone would prefer to live in denial. Denial of what, you ask? Pick a topic. It's that one and every other one. It's everything. 

It's best to lie. To succeed you have to "fake it until you make it', this I've always known. What I didn't know is that you have to continue doing so. The charade must go on forever. Never let them in. Never be vulnerable. Never trust. 

To trust is a waste of time. Everyone will let you down. Instead of the friend whose "got your back", they will more likely stab you in the back. There is no one out there who will save anything but their own skin.  So trust your own instincts and no one else's.